"No," she said softly. "It was like, I knew what was happening, and I didn't- That's not what I wanted, but there was this- I don't know, shell, that was just so angry, so angry and wanted to kill you and had to, and it wasn't me and can we not?" She knew they had to, but she'a not handling it well. "I just had to kill you. It didn't matter if you killed me, if you killed me for good, if you had torn my heart out, I had to do it. And-" And it wasn't like being compelled, she didn't believe it, underneath. "So, you know," And her voice breaks twice as she tries to say it, her voice oddly raw as she tried to pitch the words like it was no big deal. "Probably the best thing that could have happened, right? What you did."