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caroline forbes

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It was just bloody perfect. Apparently Caroline did not want to see him in private, which would have been a step up on her not wanting to see him at all if the only reason for seeing him wasn't that she needed something from him. Whatever it might be, Klaus had very little idea, or too many ideas, which all boiled down to the same thing: he did not know what it might be, but he figured that he was not going to like it.

There were not many things at all that he would like coming from her, at this stage.

He reached the Porta Ianulis within a minute or so, and leaned his back against a wall, hands in his pockets, gaze vacant. He only looked up when Caroline walked near, his face betraying nothing of whatever he might be feeling. He needed no switch to compartmentalise.

"What do you need?"

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She doesn't want to cry in front of him. "I don't know," she says, and then she stares down at her fingers. "I don't." She doesn't look at him because she can't. "What do you want to do?" She can't look at him, and she hates this - not him, she doesn't hate him, she honestly, truly does love him and it kills her, sort of. Because all she can think is that he got the answers that he wanted, and she doesn't even know what that means, and she's shaking her head. "I don't make that choice, Klaus. It's not just me. I say 'I love you', you say either I'm lying or I'm stupid, and then you ask me what I want to do? I don't know."

"I don't say you're lying or you're stupid, I say I can't believe it, Caroline." He straightens up, and he's starting to get frustrated, because she was right earlier, what she said about his patience. He's all at once extremely patient and extremely not, and that's just one of his many contradictions. Phrasing it like that, it puts the spotlight on him and his shortcomings, and of course his patience is thinning. He hates doing that. "Go back to your room if you like, think it over however long you like, I know I want to be with you."

He's said it so many times, or so it feels. He isn't used to saying it, because most of the time he doesn't have to, he just takes what or who he wants.

"You said you believe I believe it, and that's what they say to crazy people." She looks up, and he eyes are shiny. "You're not making it very obvious. At all, actually." She stands up, and maybe she is crying, maybe she is even though she won't admit it and she scrubs her face. "It's funny, I look at you, and I say 'Klaus, I love you. and these are the reasons why, and this is what I see in you and I genuinely like the person you help make me be' and you don't believe it, and I'm not supposed to be hurt or upset or frustrated, I don't even get a response to it besides that I believe it and you don't, and that's it. I don't even get a Caroline I want you to stay here, or anything else. I get a what will you do if your friends are here, which implies yes, that you think I haven't thought this through, that I'm either stupid enough to not consider Elena and Bonnie, or that I'm lying and I don't really love you, but surprise. I do."

She shrugs, scrubbing at her cheeks again, and shakes her head. "And if I leave now, it's not me leaving to make up my mind, it's me choosing that this isn't worth it, and we both know it. Because if I leave, you're not going to come look for me, I'm going to have to come back to you and you're going to act like you've been here the whole time and this is just my issue, when the issue's really that you can't deal with the fact that I fall in love quickly, and the thought of something happening to you makes me want to puke. So you know what? I love you, and you can not believe me all you want, but that doesn't change it. And the whole weird power play thing is sort of a sucky move, okay?"

Now he's staying in the chair because if he gets up he is going to let his anger out, and it's all he can do to stay there, fingers curling on the edge of the chair as he glares up at her.

"You keep believing that I think you're stupid, Caroline, heard about the pot calling the kettle black?" he asks, and his anger is clear in his words, his tone and his eyes, but it's nowhere near fully expressed. "What you can't deal with is the fact that you might have to prove to me that you're in love with me, that I'm not going trust you in a hurry, and that it's not going to happen quickly." Whereas he's done nothing but proving it to her, and even if she doesn't believe it yet, she will, eventually. "I would happily find out I was wrong to disbelieve you, but I don't trust that sort of thing easily, and it will take time." Part of him wants to say more, wants to explain, but he can't, his anger and his pride won't let him, not now, not like this. "Now if leaving you your free will and the space to make decisions is a bloody power play, I'm sorry love, but it's what you get. You know where I stand, as far as I'm concerned you have all the power."

Now only does he get up, and apparently her outpour of words is contagious, and he's glaring at her and their faces are too close, but he's still - restrained. "I'm not asking you to change, I'm giving you the truth. You say you love me, and you know enough about me - this is me, too." And he was too old for anything else.

She stares up at him, and her eyes are shiny. "I know that you don't love me. I get it, and that's okay, but why can't I say I love you?" And she feels like she's broken or something. "And if we're not going to just forget it, just not talk about the whole thing, what am I supposed to do? How are you supposed to even figure it out?" She doesn't understand, and she's trying. "Giving me my free will and the space to make decisions is different than you being angry and sounding like you're grounding me. I've made my decision, because I love you." She says it softly, and she swallows. "And just because you don't believe it, doesn't mean I don't feel that way, so... that's it. I'm staying, because of how I feel. You don't agree with me, so that means it's up to you. It's two halves of a whole, not just my decision."

She paused. "Does it mean anything to you?" It's the tiniest question, and she can't stop the tears, and god she hates them, and she turns away. "I need to wash my face."

It's like she's doing it on purpose, not listening to anything and putting words in his mouth he never said, so when she moves towards the bathroom without so much as waiting for an answer, Klaus lets her go, he just glares at her back until she's out of sight, and then he resists the temptation to trash his room, for lack of any humans he can take his anger out on. He has to let his anger out somehow, except there's nothing for him to vent it on, so he just paces, hands in his back, and if she takes her time in the bathroom there might be a hole in the carpet by the time she comes back out.

"Sorry," she says when she comes back, and she's sort of just... made the decision that she's going to just let him talk if he's got anything to say, and if he doesn't she's just going to stay and that's good enough. It's got to be good enough, because she doesn't know what else to say or do, and she feels like they're going around in circles. She's not crying, thank god, and she's gotten that under control - she hates it, she hates it so much and she's not supposed to be that person, she's supposed to be smiling and happy and she's not happy now but she's not a sobbing mess.

"I just... needed a second."

The next second Klaus is in front of her, spur of the moment, and his hand is cupping her face, but when he kisses her it's a lot softer than he expected, a lot softer than he thought himself capable of right now.

"I never once said you shouldn't tell me how you feel," he tells her, his eyes on hers, "and I do not know how many times I will have to tell you that I want you before you start believing me, and how many times I will have to tell you that I do not do this before you start believing that you're something special, that you matter, that this matters. But I plan on finding out, if you'll let me."

And she thought she was okay, she did, but she starts to cry, and she's not thinking. "I'm sorry-" and she doesn't know if it's for the tears or what, but she trying to shake her head because-- because. Because he's saying these things and she's not them, she's not what he thinks she is, and her hands are on his chest and she says it again, but it's clear it's not her saying she's not letting him. "I'm sorry." And then she stares up at him. "I love you." And her eyes search his and she smiles even though she's crying and looks up at the ceiling as she tries to stop. "I was trying not to cry," she says with a little laugh, and then she bites her lips together, taking a breath, then another one.

Klaus has to smile when she does - or to be honest, a little before that, even, and he chuckles, warm and amused, when she explains. "You're doing a terrible job of it, love," he tells her, and brushes a tear away with his thumb.

She licks he lips and sniffs, shaking her head. "Yeah, I know." She swallows hard. "I want to try? I mean, why not try." And then she leans up, her hand on the nape of his neck as she kisses him, and it's so heartfelt - it's not the movie-kiss from the first time, and it's not like the very first time they kissed, but she's literally giving herself to it, and she can't not. She can't not kiss him that way, the way that says forever and is a promise even though he's not there and she can't think past the end of her nose, time-wise.

It's a wet kiss all around, from the tear tracks on her cheeks, and her sniffling, but it hardly matters. His hand is still on the side of her face, and he kisses her back with the very same sort of emotion, of promise, with him. Eventually he drops his hand from her face so he can wrap both arms around her, and pull her closer, as close as she can get.

She breaks the kiss only to get closer to him, her arms around his neck, her forehead against his cheek. "You don't have to believe it, just believe that I do." And then she's closing her eyes, and she doesn't expect an answer, she doesn't need an answer - just this, just them, together, and even with the whirlwind of fighting and making up and hashing out what this is, she finds him, the solace in the storm even when he's causing the hurricane. Even when she is. He makes it so that she can be silent, so she can find a place where this is okay, where it's okay to stand together for however long, and she doesn't have to fill the space because he's not going to question the gap.

And she loves him for it.

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